Did you ever find yourself sitting on the other side of the table from your boss as she tells you that your position has been deemed "non-essential"? We few, we happy few, all knew what she meant, that "I" was finally, wonderfully and most importantly for her legally non-essential.
We had butted and bloodied heads in the past and she was using the economic crisis as the perfect opportunity to clean house and sweep my ass out of there. As I stared unblinking into her eyes and the eyes of her lackey, whose lack of stature garnered him the nickname of "Frodo", they nervously rambled on with a limitless amount of management-for-dummies-self-help-guide cliches. I said not a word, just stared. I knew how nervous she got when her peons did not respond to her, so I just sat and stared. It was great.
As they nervously rambled on about how no stone was left unturned (cliche #1-actually, she got the cliche wrong, she said "rock"). That if there was any other way they searched for it (#2). If they could, of course they would keep me (#3, also a lie). They had no doubt that I would find another job, because I was so talented (#4).
The minute the compliments began rolling in, I knew we were close to the end of me having to suffer their presence. "Do you have any questions?" they nervously asked looking back and forth to each other and then at me. With thoroughly
By the time I got to my office I was in full control. I started dancing up and down, throwing my hands in the air like I just didn't care. And I didn't. I could not wait to get my severance, my paid out vacation time and go on the dole.
What have I learned from all of this? You'll have to check back as I relearn how to cook, stop "Rossing" (my shopping binges at discount stores), and learn how to laugh at those bosses whose managerial incompetence defies continued employment logic.
Ta' ta' for now. I have to go burn some chicken.
Unemployment Buttons by Irina Blok
3 comments:
Sounds to me like the cherry on top is that you no longer have to deal with Lumbergh, or worry about remembering to use the proper cover sheet for your TPS reports! :)
My only regret is that I couldn't force myself to wait out GW's evil underling, so I too, could have gone walking out that "non-essential" door with you. Alas, we still party on our own, and who knows, come July...it will be me selling insurance...I won't have the luxury of saying no...LOL
At least your boss did the deed. My last boss had her boss tell me "my position had been eliminated," and she pretended not to have known it was happening.
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